Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.