we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.