I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
