Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
