I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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