Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
