I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
