Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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