he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
