so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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