the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
