I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
