Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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