drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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