i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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