I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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