I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
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