when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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