I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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