he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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