I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.