Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it