you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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