dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
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I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
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It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10