wakey wakey hands off snakey
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
