I'm laying in your front yard are you home
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
There's even glitter on my cock...
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