Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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