Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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