Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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