420 ftw
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
