i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
