exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
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