I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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