On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
