It's like God shit irony all over that family
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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