WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
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i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
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I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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