Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
