I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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