Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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