Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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