Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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