margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
