D3 body, D1 cock
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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