it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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