The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Can you bring me the toilet please
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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