I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
