This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
