I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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