I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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