WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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