There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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