I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
