I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
