was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
