Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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