I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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