somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
