also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
