if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
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