Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
