Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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