I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
